Homeward bound? Am I really? in all honesty, am I really moving forward? Well lets look at the facts, shall we... I have lived here in Crown Heights brooklyn for 7 years, off and on. The first year I did the "Im still in highschool, screw everybody" thing. The next i did the "wow there are other people who care just as little as I do, cool" The next few years I was in and out of the Holy land trying to make a place for myself. i landed back here in a basement the size of a walk in closet. I felt trapped and I allowed myself to suffocate and get lost. I continued venturing back to my only true home, only to find it different somehow. I thought it had changed. I had lost too much family, I had shed to many tears. But of course I returned. And in returning, descovered something about Israel and about myself. Whatever I am feeling ...that is what I will recieve from that place. I went there whole, and I came back...me. I dont know what the following year is going to be, or even what lies beyond tomorrow. I know that I need to keep moving. And that I cant go back to California if it means starting over. Although they have all gotten married, I will not despair, because I am not alone. I may no longer have those friends who I truly loved. Well i havent lost them, but lets get real, its not the same now either. And yes its true I may end up back in the Gehtto, but if I do, I will only return with hope, rather than returning because I lack it. Trod on good soldier... trod on.